Efe Mike-Ifeta - 00:00 I'm very taken with a piece of yours that I've listened to for months and months now. So essentially what I want to do right now is to read you a line from that piece, and hopefully delve into how you came about writing it, where you were at, and what the response has been since then. It's shine, okay? And there's a line in there that says, you are a child of God and your plain small does not serve the world. It's a really heavy. For me, it's just a very layered, layered line. So I just want you to take us through the process of creating that piece. Alyestal - 00:43 So I created that piece. I want to say back in 2013, it was a commission piece, actually. I had fnally taken the leap to doing poetry professionally, if you want to say that, full time. And there was someone I had met at a networking event who became my mentor in that season. And she was having a women's empowerment event, and she wanted me to open up the event with the Marianne Williamson quote of our deepest fear. And she said, you could take whatever creative liberties it is, blah, blah. I know you're a poet. And I said, sure. And I wrestled with it for about three weeks, and I was like, well, there's no real way to enhance this. Like, this is a solid chunk of text. Like, what am I supposed to do with it? And I was praying on it. Alyestal - 01:35 And a part of my creative process is sometimes I have to birth something, and sometimes Holy Spirit just has me write it out in, like, 15 minutes. Done. And it was a 15 minutes write out. So shine is a piece that I wrote, but I was truly a vessel in that creative process. And in addition to that, I feel that I had to be a vessel for that piece because it was for me as much as it was for the audience. And in turn, that's how most of my poetry has been birthed or written. In terms of the intention behind it is, I am speaking to myself frst and my previous or current circumstances before I can even speak it to someone else. Because the goal of my poetry is to ensure that I am empowering my listener. Alyestal - 02:30 I have an opportunity to behind a mic, which most people don't get that chance and opportunity and have that devoted time of people expectantly listening, actively listening. So I want to ensure that I'm optimizing that opportunity. So when I had this chance to share this piece, it was something for me frst before it was for someone else. So that line of, you're playing small, does not serve anyone. You're a child of God. That's not even my words. That's actually from the Marianne Williamson quote. But for me, that was like, I structured that quote slightly different for rhythmic purposes to ft the aesthetic of the piece. But for me, that line was so vital because it was a reminder that if I am the child of this great father, who do I think I am to think that he made a mistake? Alyestal - 03:26 And who am I to play small, not understanding that if I don't play my part, other people can't? There are literally people, whether in the present or in the future, waiting on me to play my part. I'm a future ancestor. So if I don't do what I need to do, they can't do what they need to do. So my playing small really doesn't serve anyone. And in that season, that was what I needed to know, because I was self sabotaging. I was getting opportunities and getting help in certain areas of my life, and literally self sabotaging because of self doubt. And that's really the mind tricks that the enemy plays with us when we're in those seasons of stepping into our purpose. And so the origin story of the creation of shine comes from there. Alyestal - 04:13 But for that line is so potent, I think, for so many reasons. Again, it's not my line, but for me, I think the potency in my delivery is because it was for me frst. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 04:23 I hear you. I hear you. Yeah. Just so much to pick upon from what you've said now. But just listening to you talk, it would seem that you are a Christian and a person of faith, and that plays an integral part in who you are, how you create. So tell us a little bit about your faith and how that infuences what you do as a poetess. Alyestal - 04:54 Being a poetess is only one part of my identity. And knowing that my identity is outside of my vocation and even outside of my purpose has driven my creative process. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 05:06 Okay, I'm just gonna stop you real quick when you. Okay, now, it took me a while to come into that place that we're not one thing, that we're multiple things, and we could be multiple things for different seasons. Have you fgured out. I know you don't need to fgure it out. What would you say is your identity now, your primary identity? And, yeah, what would you say that is? Alyestal - 05:29 Right? So my fundamental identity that is consistent is that I am a child of the father, and as such, that can't be moved. That's like, that's a fact. So my identity will always stream from that, the season that I'm in will determine the vocation I have and how I express that. So for right now, the season that I'm in, I'm a wife, a mother and a creative. So the ways in which I express my creativity, the vehicle has changed slightly. So it's not primarily and only poetry, but now I have like a six car garage. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 06:05 I hear you, I hear you. And how does that, how does that primary identity infuence what you write, why you write, how you write and all of that? Alyestal - 06:17 So when you have an understanding of who you are and when you have an understanding of where you come from, you are able to stand in that, the power of that, and so understanding that we all as individuals have power. My part of my purpose and part of my goal that I know is directed for me is to empower others to fnd their power. And so through my gifting and talents of words, I am then able to step into the fullness of my purpose to help you fnd yours, to empower you to live yours, to empower you to fnd the power of your words, your experiences, your story. And so through my creative process, again, not everyone has the opportunity to do what we do, which is get behind a micro, have that opportunity to share. Alyestal - 07:05 So I want to ensure that instead of telling you about the joy between whatever, it's much more about what about the power that's within you and how can you tap into that? And how can the words that I'm sharing with you be a gift to yourself that you can tuck away for the days and moments when you really need it and less about me and more about encouraging you? Because sometimes we oftentimes I've heard critiques of, like, women empowerment events, and they're saying, well, what purpose do they serve? They're just empowering you, but they're not equipping you with the how to. But sometimes we know how to do what we're supposed to do. We just need someone to encourage us. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 07:47 To hold our hands. Alyestal - 07:48 Yes. And that's in part a part of my purpose. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 07:53 I see. That's fascinating. Alyestal - 07:56 So even in this season of being wife and mother, that is one of the most pinnacle roles of supporting and coaching and encouraging and empowering. And I still yet get to practice that purpose of empowering others to fnd their power through empowering and supporting my husband, through empowering and equipping my daughter. For instance, with my daughter, we practice nightly afrmations. She's 19 months. Her vocabulary is limited, but we sit in front of the mirror after bath every day, and we go through our seven afrmations and she gets excited. See how she afrms herself throughout the day? When she does something good, she claps for herself. Before I can clap for her, she will tell you, I'm good. I'm kind, I'm smart. Long before I can even get that to her. Alyestal - 08:47 So it shows that my purpose is still being fulflled, even though the role in which I'm executing it in this season was different from my previous season. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 08:58 Yeah, and I think. But you say that so beautifully. But that's. That's what I've been trying to say for a long time to creatives and everybody I've spoken to, because there's a. Again, I'm gonna go back to because, like I said, I've listened to a lot of stuff that you've put out, and in a. In an interview, I think, or a YouTube video, I pulled a few. You defned your success to you as living an empowered life on purpose and with purpose. And again, that's. I can understand that it may be vague, it may be really broad strokes, but the defnition of success, I fnd even now for a writer, I had this conversation with a friend, but when you. So I listened to this podcast from the lady who writes eat, pray and love, Elizabeth Gilbert. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 09:55 And she has this amazing podcast where she talks to people who have very interesting ways she has structured it. So she takes someone who is struggling with their creative identity and matches them up with somebody who has excelled and somehow makes the person who earns by this stuff and has become an icon, listen to their story and all they are struggling with and somehow give advice and just whatnot. But she asks the question about success and how you defne that. You know, let's say you're a writer, but the way we have defned success is that until you have a book in the store, Barnes and noble or grand and toy, whatever, you are not necessarily a success. Alyestal - 10:47 Right. It's funny because people will come up to me after a show and they'll be like, where can I fnd your book? It's not even a question of, do you have a book. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 10:55 Or if you want to write a. Alyestal - 10:57 Book, it's where can I fnd your book? And what's funny is with spoken word, it is spoken word. So the assumption that as a performing poet, I should have a book is very layered because, frst of all, you don't fully understand the art form because it's spoken, not written. But second, to your point, what made you think that was one of my aspirations that I wanted to write a book. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 11:32 I'm imposing on you what I think that you should have. You should. Alyestal - 11:36 Exactly. Exactly. So while for me, yes, personally, I would like to write a book, my poetry book will be very different than my spoken word poetry. Because it's written poetry versus spoken poetry. It's naturally going to be different. But with that as well, I'm understanding that things have to happen in seasons. Right now, the primary vehicle that I'm using creatively has changed from being just spoken word poetry, which means I have another vehicle of written poetry as a creative expression. So it's one of those things, too, where in the season when people are coming up to me after shows saying, where can I get your book? It's just not the season yet. But it doesn't mean that I'm not successful. It doesn't mean that as a creative, I haven't hit the goals and marks that I need to be successful. Alyestal - 12:30 You came to talk to me to ask me where my book is. I think that you're doing something right. Yeah, exactly. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 12:36 No, like, it. It's something I think we need to talk about and need a lot more, especially people in the creative feld. You are no less a singer, a musician, if you haven't won a Grammy or if you never get to win a Grammy Award. Right. Alyestal - 12:53 Like, Eddie Murphy's one of the greatest actors and has never won an award for any of his work, but he is a legendary actor. When you think about his talent and his abilities, you don't doubt it. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 13:07 No, not at all. Alyestal - 13:08 But he has no words to back it up. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 13:11 I hear you. Alyestal - 13:12 So that's one of the things where we really have to start changing our minds and our perspectives about it. For me, one of the things that made me know that I was being successful in spoken word poetry is when one of my family members came up to me and said, I appreciated what you did, but I didn't fully appreciate until I saw someone else do it. And when I saw someone else do it and I heard all this hype around this person, I was anticipating the same emotions to be evoked within myself. I was anticipating the same experience based off of the numbers, based off of the hype. And this person said, you made this grown man look like a boy. And I was like, thanks. And other people were like, that's offensive, blah, blah. Alyestal - 14:02 I'm like, no, but you have to understand that when someone is telling you that it's less about gender and more about the concept of, you overshadowed this person who's supposed to be the pinnacle. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 14:17 Yeah. Alyestal - 14:20 What I'm doing makes me successful because other people are able to know that the experience they have when they encounter my work does something that other artists might not do. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 14:33 I hear you. Alyestal - 14:34 And that is success in itself. Whether I have the numbers, whether I have the hype, whether I have the book. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 14:42 And I think to your point, that comes back to identity. Right. Which is sorely lacking. We tend to, again, just going to say on the record here, I'm a person of faith as well. I'm a Christian. So I do understand when you talk about identity, which is something I have delved into for the last four or fve years, to really understand what it means that we're not our expressions. Alyestal - 15:09 Exactly. That's exactly it. We're not our expressions. It's one of those things. Way to understand it. I'm of mixed heritage, but I identify as black. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 15:20 Okay? Alyestal - 15:20 So that's another way of understanding identity, where I have these components that make up who I am, but how I self identify is as black. You know what I mean? And so that's one of the ways also that I understand and how to process through identity as well. I'm named after my indian great grandmother. I didn't know. So her name is Alice Seitel. And my parents were creative, wanted to honor her, put her frst and last name together to create my name. For 27 years, I did not know what cital meant. I did not know that it was an Urdu word that was anglicized through, of course, the ocean crossing. It became anglicized, and it's actually pronounced shetal. N means cool and calm. For 27 years, I had no idea. Alyestal - 16:13 And it wasn't until I delved into the experience of explaining my name to someone who was interested, who said, did you know? And told me that. And it was afrmed by a complete stranger a few weeks later. And it was interesting because for me, I was like, well, how do I grapple with the fact that my name comes from my indian great grandmother, but I identify as black? If I identify as black, it's like I'm embracing her component in my. Who I am, but I identify as black, but I have her name. And it was when I realized, no, how I identify doesn't take, or how I express my identity doesn't take away from, essentially, who I am, which is of mixed heritage. However, I identify as black. Alyestal - 17:03 So it's just a different way to kind of understand identity outside of a faith perspective of, fundamentally, this is who you are, but how you choose to express it can change season to season. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 17:15 I hear you. I hear you. Okay, let's go from the start now. Alyestal - 17:19 Yeah. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 17:21 At what point did you know that this is what you wanted to do? Or let me put it right now that we talk about identity and seasons, at what point in your life did that become something you chose to identify with and express yourself through? Alyestal - 17:38 I always knew that this was what I was supposed to do. Okay? There was no question that language, words, the power of words, communicating, performing, speaking, writing, were all a part of my purpose in gifting. Okay? When people used to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I used to tell them Oprah. And I used to do that because I didn't have the vocabulary to understand that she was a journalist, but I wanted to be paid to speak. I remember being in the second grade and my dad saying, what do you want to be when you grow up? And Oprah was on tv and pointed to it, I want to do that. I want to be paid to talk. You all tell me I talk too much. I might as well get paid for it. Alyestal - 18:23 And that was just one of the ways that I expressed who I, what my purpose was. I remember going back through old journals from as early as I could write, and I was either writing poetry or I was writing scripts, commercials. I was saying, and that's it from your reporter, Alisa Hamilton. Like, I've always been doing it. One of my mom still actually has it on the fridge from kindergarten, and it was supposed to be a prayer that I wrote, but it's actually a poem. We play. We love, we eat, we talk. We this. We are a family. And I go through. But the rhythm, the natural rhythm of it has always been there. So in terms of how I got into it sounds so cliche, but when people say, like, how long have you been singing? Alyestal - 19:20 Since I was born, or as long as I can remember. It's literally as long as I can remember. That is absolutely the case for me in terms of seasonally. How I knew that this is what I was supposed to do and started to take it seriously was about 15 or 16 years old. I was at a black history month event, and Duane Morgan was performing, and he was doing a keynote. My friend turned to me and she's like, you know, you could do that, right? And I was like, yeah, and I could do it better. And she's like, oh, ha ha. I was like, no, I'm serious. I could do that, and I could do it better. And of course, that's your 1516 year old arrogance. Alyestal - 20:01 But that was also knowing from an early age what I was called to do, and knowing that I was called to do it with excellence was something that showed itself in that moment. And funny enough, I ended up doing a show that he hosted, like, in my frst year of doing it, I guess you could say professionally. But, yeah, I was 15 or 16 years old when I was like, spoken word will be part of my expressions of my purpose. It wasn't until the year 2013 when, after a long season of many challenges and fguring out a few things for myself, that I was committed to having the year of yes. And I wasn't going to say no to anything. So it was a personal challenge. My birthday's in October. Alyestal - 20:49 I usually start to think about the new year then and create a theme for the year. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 20:53 Okay. Alyestal - 20:54 And so theme of the year for 2013 was, if you're scared, say you're scared, but do it anyways. And every month, I had made a commitment. And my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, was my accountability person, where I had to try at least one new thing a month. That scared me. And so I tried paintballing. Hated it, never going back. It was terrible. I screamed like I was dying. It was. It was the worst. I tried, like, one new dish, like all that type of stuff. But I remember in 2012, I was in university, I went to this workshop, and it was about poetry writing. And this publisher was there, and I asked him, like, how do I get my book published? And. Alyestal - 21:36 And he said, well, you have to go to open mics and start building a fan base, reading your work and whatever else. So in 2013, I had it in my mind, I'm going to start building my fan base, my readership. And so I kept saying, I have all this poetry. I really need to do something with it. By this point, I was performing in church. I was performing at little community events here and there. I had my frst piece published when I was 17, but I didn't really take it seriously in my consistency. And that year, I think it was March, I went to an open mic, told no one, and said, I'm gonna read this poem. And I read a terrible poem off of my phone. It was the worst. Alyestal - 22:19 Thank God no one I knew was there, but I did it anyways, even though I was scared. And the next month, someone from my church said, I'm having this charity event, blah, blah. I'd love to have you perform a piece of poetry. I said, okay, I can do that because it was the year of Ces. And I was incredibly intimidated by that. But by June, the event was the last weekend of June. So that last week of June, I said, let me try this out at an open mic. And I went back to the same open mic, and I went out and I went with my, at the time boyfriend, and we sat there and I did the piece and was so well received, the local paper picked it up. Look at that. And it was a completely different experience than the frst time. Alyestal - 23:12 And the piece was actually God given name. And that's. And that was really a refection piece of me grappling with my identity and grappling with the different concepts and perceptions of it. So, yeah, that's a long winded version of how I got into it in terms of taking it seriously. And from there, it was, because it was the year of yes, just saying yes again and again. And shine was written a couple weeks after that and so on and so forth. So defnitely just threw myself out there. And your purpose will catch you when you're doing what you're supposed to. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 23:50 I hear you. I hear you. Yeah, yeah. The frst time I heard you perform, there was so, again, I fnd this to be a recurring theme with. With a certain type of people you see perform, and it does nothing for you, whether it is they haven't perfected your craft or they're just in the process of coming into their own, or more. More or more accurately, because they do not necessarily have a story to tell just yet. Alyestal - 24:26 And sometimes they're using a mode of expression that's not necessarily for them. It's just the cool thing to do. It's cool thing to do. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 24:35 Yeah, I hear you. I hear you. That's an interesting way to put it. But like I was saying before we started taping this, when I sat in your audience and just the situation surrounding you, and I know your hubby was there and you had your baby and all of that, I'm like, the frst thing that came to my mind just by just looking at the situation was that you had to love this stuff to do it with all of that happening. Alyestal - 25:06 Yeah. I got back to performing three or four weeks postpartum. My husband's a visual artist. He's the owner of r. Thomas Art. He was right back into showcasing stuff because my daughter's born January 1, so black history month is huge for black artists, obviously. And weren't. We weren't going to let that opportunity pass us just because we had a newborn. So he had a show in the last week of January. I got a baby carrier put her in it, and were there. Alyestal - 25:35 And it was funny because I took her out of the carrier the frst time I performed, which was at that show, and I gave her to him to hold, thinking she wouldn't like it, and she wouldn't be quiet and all the rest of it, and I didn't like it performing without her, and she didn't like being away from me at three, four weeks old. So the next time I said, nope, we're not doing that, we're gonna keep her in there, and we just kept performing with her. We have done so much since she's been born. I think I've done. I've actually. In 2018, I performed more by June than I had of all of 2017. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 26:16 And why do you think that is? Like, what has she done to your art? Alyestal - 26:21 Mm. She adds another level and layer of purpose, because for years before, I was. Long story short, I lost my best friend when I was 19 years old. He was 20 years old. He was my poet friend in particular. We used to be poet spar buddies. Really push each other forward. And when you experience death at that age, from the loss of someone your own age, you really grapple with legacy and purpose. And he, because of his illness, grappled with legacy and purpose and expressed that through his poetry. So for a long time, I had. Before my daughter was born, for ten years before my daughter was born, I really grappled with the concept of legacy. And I remember when I'd be making sacrifces, and I couldn't understand why I was making these. Alyestal - 27:17 It was because I knew that I wanted to make sure all the work that I was doing was making it easier for whoever it was. I didn't know it was her, but I knew that I wanted to make it easier for my children, my nieces, my nephews, my community. And, yeah, I was really understanding legacy at that point, doing the work for legacy, but having that physical manifestation before you of, like, I have to do this for you. Like a person, a real person with a name, it pushes you to a different level. And when you understand the importance of representation, the importance of having yourself represented on stages and in places and spaces that you don't normally see yourself refected is important. Alyestal - 28:04 And for her to be able to see herself literally be on stages and in places and in rooms and at seats that she normally may not have seen herself is such a blessing and spurs you on. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 28:19 Fantastic. Fantastic. Like I said. And then you performed, and it left me with something. I recall walking up to you when the show was done, you had performed things that resonate, maybe because we share similar experiences or whatnot. Or. But again, when you perform, I know we may have touched on this a little bit, but when you perform, what are your expectations with your audience? I know that carries through the writing process and all of that, but when it eventually leaves just being letters on a page, and when you actually have the opportunity to minister to people through your work, what do you expect it to do? Alyestal - 29:08 I take the preparatory steps necessary to be able to get to that point behind the mic. So, touch on the point you made earlier, people need to perfect their craft. And I work very hard to perfect my craft. As in, if I can't say this poem while I'm putting my daughter down, if I can't say this poem when I'm driving in the car with the radio on and sitting in trafc with all those distractions and frustrations, if the poem is not a part of my essence where I can just pick up and just say it's not ready to be shared, and it doesn't mean I won't forget things I've forgotten many a time. But it has to be in your essence, because you truly have to believe what you're saying. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 29:53 True. Okay, just for do you think so? What would be the difference? Do you think the potency of a piece would be any less if you read it off a page to people during the performance? Alyestal - 30:04 Hands down? Efe Mike-Ifeta - 30:05 Okay. Alyestal - 30:05 Guaranteed. Guaranteed. One of the reasons I actually don't like to slam is because people don't understand the delicacy of the craft of needing to know your words and knowing the message and the story that you're telling. So if your piece of Hillroy paper is shaking behind a mic and you're getting a nine out of ten, what am I supposed to get coming stepping up to the mic with my two bare hands like you and I are not on the same level right now. And it's not that I am superior or anything like that. It's you just need to perfect your craft. That is it. Because your words have power. I believe your words have power. I just believe that the delivery of your words also have power. And if you don't package it right, it's not gonna come out right. Alyestal - 30:56 So, I mean, you could give me the diamond, but wrap it up in newspaper. I may question what's in the newspaper. So I do take those preparatory steps necessary before I even get to the stage, I say a prayer in whatever minimal way it is of just like, Lord, just let me do what needs to be done. Before I get to the stage. And whoever needs it, take it. I like to warm up my audience as well. Again, preparatory steps of just reminding them that what I'm sharing may not be for you in this instance, but take it away and keep it for a day when you might need it, because we will probably all need this reminder. I hear you. And then after that, it's really no expectations. Alyestal - 31:36 It's reading the audience to see my delivery of a piece will change after I read an audience. So if I'm reading the audience and I know that they need a little more this, I give them a little more this. And if they need a little more of that, I'm giving them a little more of that. I've had pieces where I've stopped, like, in shine. I say, like, shine like will on that episode of grad. Sorry. Shine like will on that episode of graduation day. And I've stopped and had conversations in the middle of the poem because the knowing few are dying of laughter, of like, it's that episode of Fresh Prince with the Sunfowers. And we're like, I know. Did you know? Efe Mike-Ifeta - 32:19 Yeah. Alyestal - 32:19 And some people are like, what's. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 32:20 They didn't get it. Alyestal - 32:21 What's happening? They didn't catch it. I have a poem. Tell them. And I say, I'm most deaf. Black on both sides. Most def has an album. Black on both sides. My hands. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 32:32 Yeah, for sure. Alyestal - 32:32 In a fst is black on both sides. And some people are like, that blew my mind. And some people are like, I didn't understand that at all. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 32:39 And, yeah. No, no. That's fantastic. No, I have a line here from God given name that I wanted to make reference to, but now that we're talking about, because I think part of this stuff is. So you're a writer. Yes. And then there's. Part of it is lyricism, I think, in my humble opinion, you know? Alyestal - 32:58 Absolutely. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 32:58 And so I picked up on the line today, and it was a live performance I saw on YouTube, you performing it. And I was. If I was in that audience, I would have yelled yes, because I knew that line. Alyestal - 33:09 Yes. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 33:10 I may not know all the references, of course, culture references, but you say in God given name that you didn't want to rock the boat for fear that you may be called aaliyah. And I just. It just. Alyestal - 33:25 Yeah. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 33:26 I'm like, okay, that's brilliant. Alyestal - 33:31 Right? Efe Mike-Ifeta - 33:31 That's brilliant. So. Alyestal - 33:32 Right. And that's the thing with it, where it's. It's supposed to be fun. This. This medium of creativity is supposed to be fun. And sometimes people take it a little too serious, and even in my delivery. Going back to your point of what's my expectation of the audience is for them to take what they need as they need it. So if you're a part of the knowing few who can pick up on certain pop culture references or that lyricism that I include in it, that's great. I'm excited. If you want to have a conversation about. If you want to yell, if you want to shout. I actually encourage people before I perform. I'm like, snap your fngers, stomp your feet. I've had people throw napkins, say, jesus. I've had the whole gamut of it. Alyestal - 34:14 So I feed off of the energy that the audience gives me in the sense of I do the initial read, but based off of how you are consuming what I'm feeding you, I will serve it up however you need it to be served up. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 34:27 I hear you just fantastic. And that, again, it goes back to the whole thing about craft, right? So I hear these little nuggets of just gems in your work, and I'm like, okay, that's the person who takes their time to write and are consume content. Alyestal - 34:49 It's one of those things where there's some poets I speak to, some writers I speak to, and I'm like, oh, what book are you reading now? And it's not like, oh, in this season, I just don't have the time to read. But I usually like to read these and these. It's, oh, I don't really like to read. Then how are you. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 35:04 You're gonna write really, like, if you don't experience from books to people to stuff and all that, how are you. Alyestal - 35:11 Going to produce exactly, for me, to your point of lyricism, I enjoy, like, I refer to myself as a hip hop head, but not with what hip hop is. That's neither here nor there, but in terms of, like, early hip hop, like nineties in particular. I would sit there for hours counting out the syllabic counts of a tribe called quest or the Fujis or whatever it is, and rewind and be like, wait, I missed something. And then you see how they structure their lines. You look up those words, you look up those synonyms, and it's fun. The best way I can explain my creative process is it's like a puzzle. It's like I can see the full picture, but all the pieces are everywhere. And the pieces are literally everywhere. It's on the bus, it's on my walk. Alyestal - 35:57 It's when I'm praying it's when I'm cleaning. It's when I'm taking care of my daughter. It's literally in everything. It's not everything before me on a piece of paper. It's in all of my lived experiences. It's in that content that I'm consuming that song, I'm listening to that line in that podcast, whatever it is, and then interpreting it into what I need to. And sometimes I literally will write out words and cut them out and rearrange them. It's like a formula. Math isn't my strong suit. But if math with words, if there's such a thing, I could. And that's what it looks like for me, because sometimes someone will read it and they'll be like, but that's good. I'm like, no, but there's something that's not quite. And it's quite. And once I can fnesse it's like, that's it. Alyestal - 36:46 And that's how you come up with a line like, but I didn't want to rock the bone. Yeah, yeah. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 36:52 It's crazy. And I think for people who really enjoy playing with words, and I think to your point about it being a fun experience, it does something to you. There's a. There's a piece I have in the frst line. I think that was the frst stuff that came to me, but it just. It carried me through writing the whole piece because it was so. I just found it. I said, like Kanye, there was a time I was addicted to fashing lights, lights, lights. And that's how I started. And it was. It was just. I was so excited that I could somehow make that connection song of his and just try and, you know, and it carried me through writing the whole piece. And then I saw, you know, it was, you know, but that's just fantastic. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 37:38 And something I recognized in your word, in your pieces that you caught my attention. Alyestal - 37:45 Like, even the titles of them, like God given name, was based off of Erika Badu's song. And in the line of it, she says, call us by our names because that's what we're. As a child of God, don't call me out of my name. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 38:04 Yeah, for sure. Alyestal - 38:05 Call me my God given name. And it's based out of that line in Erika Badu's song. Or tell em is actually funny enough, is based off of Lauryn Hill's song. Tell him. Tell him. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 38:17 Yeah. Alyestal - 38:17 And I listened to that song on loop, and it doesn't really have to associate with the content of tell of my poem, but that's kind of how you fnd the puzzle pieces everywhere. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 38:31 Sure, sure. You say she's innately wired to defy the laws of nature, of gravity and black magic. Alyestal - 38:40 Yes. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 38:44 So again, another thing I have, and I like this about writers who are not necessarily boxed. I can understand the appeal from having a specifc type of genre you write about. I know it's. I know it's need, it's necessary and all of that stuff. But for writers who are able to, because all three poems I have here, all three pieces are certainly of different topics, from shine to black magic to God given name. But in black magic, you take on a whole different theme. What inspired black magic? Alyestal - 39:23 My natural hair. In a few words, my natural hair. So for me, my hair has always been an expression of my identity, a key part of my identity, actually. So again, going back to earlier on in our conversation, I'm of mixed heritage. My mom's biracial. Her hair texture is completely different from mine. My hair is straight, continental, and my mom's is biracial. And so when she gave birth to this child with a head top completely different from hers or my dad's, who is also of mixed heritage, it was like, what do we do now? So my hair has always been a topic of conversation, and especially with this thickness, this density, it always draws attraction as well. So when I was, I want to say, twelve years old, I got my frst relaxer. My hair was like waist length, everyone overjoyed, happy, blah, blah. Alyestal - 40:24 But I didn't know what to do with it. My family didn't know what to do with it, and it started to break. And so I ended up with having shorter hair. But I remember all throughout high school, I went through ebbs and fows of growing out my perm. And then my grandmother being like, I really like your hair straight. Let's get a perm. I'll even pay for it. And you want to appease your grandmother. And I didn't know what I was doing with my natural hair, to be honest. So I was like, meh, okay. And so I went through ebbs and fows of perm. No perm. Perm, no perm. And then in 2007, the end, it was June 30, 2007, was my last perm. It was the end of my frst year of university. And I said, I'm not doing this again. Alyestal - 41:06 I went through chemical burns throughout my perm process. I've gone through hair loss and hair breakage. And I'm like, this can't be okay. How is this okay? Why is it that when I modify physically chemically modify and alter myself, it's acceptable. But my hair, as it grows naturally out of my scalp that I don't. I can't control is somehow defant and problematic. So I decided you're going to accept me for all of me, whoever you are going, that's what it's going to be. I don't care if you think it's professional or not. I don't think if you'd like it better when it's long and all the way down my back, I don't care. It is how my hair naturally grows out of my head, and if it's okay for Becky, then it's okay for me. And that was the conclusion that I reached. Alyestal - 41:54 And so I started my natural hair journey earlier than the trend started, and I went through that process, and I remember people just being like, why does your hair do that? Like, being even in the frst grade, your hair doesn't move. Why does it not move? Because it defes gravity. It does something that your hair cannot do. And we, as black people, are literally the only people on the face of the planet that have the ability to defy gravity. So are we there? Not magical? So I wrote black magic around the beginning of the black magic girl trend, and it was really based out of we are magical creatures to defy and not creatures in we are other, but we are magical. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 42:44 I hear you. Alyestal - 42:45 Innately so. And my hair was personifed to show that while she may be all these things, you cannot bind her into whatever makes you feel comfortable. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 42:57 I hear you. Wow, that's deep. Alyestal - 43:02 And I think that's, like, one of my shortest spoken word poems. It's, like, a minute long, if I remember correctly. And it. To your point, it's. It's powerful because you pack a lot. That's what makes playing with words fun. It's. I gave myself a minute. I. That was just a writing challenge I gave myself, and that's what came out of it. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 43:26 I'm enjoying that so much, it's crazy. So, your body of work, you want to tell us a bit about what you've done, places you've performed at, and what I know we're in a season right now where you've chosen to express yourself in a slightly different way but carrying through the same purpose and commission. But in terms of pursuing this, what have you done? Alyestal - 43:57 So, like I said, I began in 2013, formally, I guess you could refer to it as I've performed in London, England, which is where God given name was performed on the YouTube video that many people have seen my poetry has been on the walls of a ugandan orphanage community house that I have actually never seen, because I've never been to Uganda. But to know that piece of poetry that I wrote specifcally for the girls of that community is being seen and consumed on a regular basis is just so powerful. I've opened for author Lawrence Hill. I remember writing a poem that I did, and it's about language and culture, and I wrote it specifcally for that opening. And him sitting, I'm not going to cry. Alyestal - 44:51 I remember him sitting in the audience watching me perform like an actual audience member, not this elite author that he is, but actually taking it in and providing me feedback afterwards. And I was blown away because I was like, how is this life? Because I swear, two months ago I was literally sitting in my family's living room watching the Book of Negroes like this doesn't even make sense. So to be able to have him consume, that was a very powerful experience for me. I have performed across Canada. I have published work, most recently in an african and diaspora anthology. So it has a collection of writing from, again, people of the diaspora and from the continent across the world. Just sharing and to be able to contribute to that narrative is also a powerful thing, I feel for my personal legacy. So that's short. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 45:58 And I see you have a few awards under your belt as well, right? Harry Dale. Alyestal - 46:02 Yes, the Harry Dale Literary Award. I was, I refer to myself as the most recent, but I was also the last recipient of the Harrydale Literary Award. And that was one of the more validating awards that I had received because the concept of it is for an emerging writer and providing you with resources to help you in writing and publication of your book, and to have it validated by a group of people within the arts and say, we see you and we see your potential and we are choosing to support you was a very validating experience because I received that award very early on in my career. So that was, and it comes back to timing too, because I had actually applied for that because it was a process that you had to go through. Alyestal - 46:55 And I had applied the previous year before I won and I didn't get it. And it was a subsequent year that I did. And the amount of growth I had done in my career within that twelve month span really made a difference and equipped me to be a better writer, to know how to package myself better, just having greater business acumen, you know what I mean? Yeah. Which I think helped in equipping me in being the recipient, for sure. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 47:22 Awesome. I often ask this question at this point of the show about. So we have all of the stuff that we're passionate about, and there are seasons where things go south. Yes. Try us. We might. We don't want to be close to that which we're passionate about because the world is coming undone. We're going crazy. So I ask it in two ways. What do you do and how do you cope during those seasons? And how does your art or your passion play into that coping mechanism, if at all? It does. And how are you able to, you know, wake up every morning and keep at it, even when the last thing you want to do is to be doing what you love? Alyestal - 48:12 Mm. So 2017 was one of those years for me. And it's funny because 2017 was the year that I got married and I got pregnant. And so a lot of people would be like, what? Why would that be a hard thing? I got married February 25, 2017. And within the frst six weeks of our marriage, I had moved out from the home that I had lived in for 20 years to a new city with my now husband. So I got a new title, living in a new city, living together for the frst time. And our family structure and our family dynamic was changing out of my extended family, the baby was twelve years old. And then my brother announced a week after our wedding that they were expecting. They were fve months pregnant. They didn't know. Alyestal - 49:06 So the twelve year dry spell was over and unexpectedly. So that was the frst week of our marriage after all these abundant changes. A week after that, my grandmother was sick. Two weeks after that, she admitted herself to the hospital, which was huge because she refused to go. A week after that, I didn't know it would be the last time I would speak to her in her cognizant mind and see her, and she passed shortly after that. So within the frst six weeks of our marriage, I have all this upheaval happening of just normal marriage stuff. But then my family dynamic has changed. The person that I have literally had in my life as long as my parents have, like, for instance, like these, a constant is now left. The matriarch has now left. Alyestal - 49:54 It really rocks your concept and understanding, because even though she lived a full life, that's still a loss and a grief that you have to experience for sure during what's supposed to be a joyous occasion. Her funeral was in March, and April 25 was our two month anniversary. And I did a pregnancy test, and I was pregnant. And that was not our plan. That was not our plan. And I had a really challenging time grieving not just the loss of my grandmother, but the loss of my previous life before being married, the loss of my expectations and hopes of what I thought our frst year of marriage would have looked like, which didn't include me being pregnant, and just how things had to quickly change and be modifed. Having to grieve the loss of what you hoped for. And I didn't take it easy. Alyestal - 50:46 Maybe it was pregnancy made it worse, but I didn't take it very easy. And it was challenging. There were really challenging days. Years ago, while I was in university, I struggled with depression and anxiety. And so while I worked out of that and spoken word poetry helped me through that, and equipping myself with knowing my triggers and all the rest of it, I knew I didn't want to ever get back to that place. So I had to work very hard in 2017 to get out of that place that I didn't create, because I was so focused on just making it to the next day that it was literally, I would have sometimes wasn't even the next day. It was the next moment. It was, what you're going to do is get out of bed. That's all you've got to do. Alyestal - 51:32 You don't have to do anything else but get out of bed. And when you get out of bed, once I got up, then I was like, all you have to do is make it to the washroom, and that's it. And once you do what you need to, all I got to do is get downstairs, and that's it. And it was literally moment to moment, just to make it to the next moment. And my gracious husband, that's not what you would expect to be happening in your frst year of marriage. And he would ask me about my art. He would ask me, and I would tell him, maybe I'm just supposed to be like a nine to fver. Maybe I'm just supposed to be knowing that wasn't the true expression of my purpose and struggling with it. But writing couldn't help me in that season. Alyestal - 52:19 Creating couldn't help me in that season. But I needed that season so that 2018 could happen. Because I was able to write new pieces with new intention, new purpose, new outcomes, like outlooks and insights that I didn't have. Because battling these types of thoughts and challenges when you have a family is very different than when it's just you by yourself. You now serve a purpose that's greater than yourself. Exactly. So it was really my goal. 2017 was just survive. And if writing's not a part of it. That's okay. And I still performed. I still performed, and in more ways than one, not just behind a mic. You have to perform just to get through that season. But 2018 came, and it was May 2017. Worth it. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 53:14 I hear you. I hear you did think differently. Afrmation cards start around that time or always been. Alyestal - 53:23 No. So think differently. Afrmation cards were birthed through my experience. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 53:27 Of 2017 in 2017. Alyestal - 53:28 Because sometimes my husband would say to me, you just have to tell yourself to do it. Because I'm like, I don't want to do this. Whatever it may be, I don't want to do this. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 53:37 Okay. Alyestal - 53:38 And he'd be like, but you have to do it. But I don't want to. But it's not about what you want. It's what you tell yourself. And he had to remind me of my personal belief of the power of words, and that's what birthed the thing differently. Afrmation cards. I started writing a bunch of sticky notes of, I can do this. I am doing this. I am this. I am good. I am worthy. I am worthy of getting up and drinking a glass of water. It sounds ridiculous, but when you are battling with certain things, that is what you have to do. I would have. I am good. I am worthy. I am capable. I am capable of making it out the door today. I can do this. I am worthy of receiving that. And so these sticky notes had to evolve. Alyestal - 54:27 I always say that our house ended up looking like being Mary Jane season one because the sticky notes were everywhere, and I had to contain it. And the think differently afrmation cards were my approach to containing it. The afrmations, the power of words, it even helped me through my labor, because there's moments where I would say out loud, I can do this. I am capable. My body knows what it's doing. And in those moments, I was able to push past the challenge. And when I couldn't believe it for myself, I would ask my husband or my midwife and be like, I could do this right. I could do this right. And they would have to say, you can do this. And so that's really how the think differently afrmation line developed. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 55:12 That's just awesome. Awesome. Thank you for sharing that story with us. Alyestal - 55:17 Thank you. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 55:18 Thank you so much. I want us to talk about momo mama Monday. I follow you on Instagram, and I watch those videos, which are exciting, and it's just a passion with which you deliver. It's infectious. Just tell us about what that's about and what you hope to achieve. By it. Alyestal - 55:43 So Momo's mama Monday was literally birthed at the kitchen table of me venting to my husband at about eight months because it's almost a year since I started it. My daughter's about eight months old, eight months into my mom journey. And I was like, this is crazy, and this is ridiculous. And I don't understand. And no one talks about this point, too. I was also engaged in a mom community. I was going to a regular playgroup. I wasn't isolating myself, as many new moms fnd happened very easily in the frst year of momming. And my husband's like, well, like, what are you gonna do? I was like, I don't know, but I need to tell people about this, because this and this and this. And I decided, literally, I said, maybe if it becomes something, and if it doesn't, that's cool. Alyestal - 56:31 I didn't know what it was going to be. And I set up my camera, put it on my tripod, and went in for, like, eight minutes. And it was fun. It was something that I just said, I'm just going to have fun with it. If it's just a random rant video type thing that happens every now and again, great. And if it's something that happens regularly, great. I didn't put any exposure, expectation, or pressure on it, and people responded phenomenally in a way that I wasn't anticipating. I've created real friendships with mom friends digitally, some friends I've never even met before. And we're checking in on each other's children because of Instagram and because of momo's mama Monday being on Instagram and opening up that channel to have those honest, truthful conversations about the challenges of motherhood. Alyestal - 57:23 And now it's become another way of expressing another vehicle in my six car garage, if you will, of my creativity, of my purpose, of how I'm executing it, because it's empowering other moms to be honest, to fnd power in their story, and to engage in honest dialogue and conversations with other moms. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 57:46 Awesome. Awesome. It's something I love to watch. Like I said, it's just the impeccable delivery you give and the passion. Alyestal - 57:53 Yeah. And it's evolving, too, because it's one of those things that was really. It's really fun for me because going back to the point of I wanted to be Oprah, it's now become like my own little talk show. I'm working on. Working. Sorry, I'm working with guests for subsequent episodes, and it's just really evolved into living out the purpose that I wanted to. I remember knowing, like, God literally telling me audibly, you're supposed to be this person. Like, you're supposed to be a reporter, a speaker, a writer, a journalist. And me thinking, I had to go to journalism school to do it, not understanding that what I am doing through momo's mama Monday is actually a fulfllment of all the things that he told me. But it's not in the way that. It's not packaged in the way that I had anticipated. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 58:46 I couldn't agree more. And isn't that just the beauty of life? That. And again, I use this analogy all the time, that the king of the Jews came in something that wasn't a burning chariot of fre. And you expect, and you expect, and we have this idea of what the future should look like. Yes, but the future is actually happening to us in the way that he, the Lord, has chosen for it to happen. But because it's not the way that we have pictured it. Alyestal - 59:18 Yes. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 59:19 And it is usually better than we. Alyestal - 59:23 Absolutely would ever dream of it, hands down. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 59:25 Yes, but it's happening. It's happening. But it's not in the way that we have always. Alyestal - 59:30 Exactly. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 59:30 And that throws us off. Alyestal - 59:32 It does. It really does. And I know my husband has to remind me of this so many times because even so, a perfect example would be when in 2017, and I was really cool, questioning my approach and expressions of creativity and purpose and everything. And I'm like, I don't have a story to tell. That was, like, my big thing where I was like, how can I write when I don't have a story to tell? What story am I telling? And my husband's like, maybe your story's coming. Maybe all the things that you've ever wanted will be on the other side of this pregnancy. Maybe the story is being birthed right now. You just have to wait. And I'd be like, no, we don't. No, that's not it. I just need a story. But he was right. Alyestal - 01:00:31 He had the objectivity that I didn't have of looking in and being like, your story is coming. And he could see the package it was coming in. But because I had this idea of what it would look like, of course I wasn't willing to see, or I'm not even willing. I wasn't able. I did not have the ability to see what was coming my way. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:00:55 And we let go, or rather, we forgo a whole lot of little crumbs here, there and there to make all of this come together, but it doesn't look like what we've always seen. And we just. We let them go. Alyestal - 01:01:09 Yeah, it was just this week. My husband's like, you realize you've hit your oprah goal, right? And I was like, what? I don't have, like, 10 million people following me and whatever else and blah. And he's like, no, you've created a space in your world that refects, unique to you, unique to me, in those little part of the Internet, slash the world that you get to take as your own. And you've created the refection of what you needed it to look like and be executed as you realize you reach your goal. I was like, oh, no, I haven't. But when I really looked back at the most recent guest episode that we've recorded, I was like, I think he's right. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:01:57 Yeah, for sure. Alyestal - 01:01:58 I really think he's onto something, which is a reminder to our listeners that just because it's not coming in the package in the way that you're anticipating it to doesn't mean that it's not for you. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:02:09 I hear you. Amen. That's a good word. So, what does the future hold? Yeah. I'm not a particular fan of questions, but where would you like all of this to fow into? What do you see? Alyestal - 01:02:31 One of the things that I was notorious for were fve year plans. Ever since someone told me when I was in university, you need a fve year plan. They're like, what's your plan? I was like, I don't know. I guess, like, fnish this year. See where it takes me. And they're like, you don't know what you're doing when you're graduating. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:02:46 They make you feel, like, less. Alyestal - 01:02:47 That actually was what triggered my anxiety, because I was. I had it. It was like the seeds were there, and then I was like, I need a plan. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:02:56 And the fve year plan. Alyestal - 01:02:57 And it was the fve year plan. It had fve years. Because how could you have a four year plan? You do things in odd numbers, ones, threes and fves. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:03:07 So. Alyestal - 01:03:08 So I was like, with the fve year plan. And I still, in a sense, have a fve year plan, but it's very different. It's much more about experiencing my senses and not having as being my benchmarks and not having actual benchmarks. So who will be there in fve years? Who will I wake up next to? Who will I be talking to on the phone? Text message, telepathy, whatever we do in fve years? Who knows? Who will be my closest friends? Who will be my closest allies? My closest relationships? Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:03:46 Yeah. Alyestal - 01:03:48 Where will I be? Where would I ideally, physically like to be? Would I like to be located here? Would I like to be located somewhere else in the country? Would I like to be on a tropical island? Would I like to be in a european country? Where would I like to visually see myself when I look out the mirror? What am I seeing? What am I doing when I wake up in the morning? Where am I going when I'm out about my day? It's okay if it's corporate, as long as it's aligned with what I'm supposed to be doing. It's okay if it's entrepreneurial and creative and performing, as long as it's aligned with what I'm supposed to be doing. It's okay to be a stay at home mom as long as it's aligned with what I'm supposed to be doing. Alyestal - 01:04:35 So, who, what, where, when? I guess in the fve years. But how will I make this happen? I'll make this happen when I feel like the decisions I'm making will closely align with how I want to feel, see, taste, smell, experience. To know that I've reached that success within the next fve years. So where this will take me, I have no idea. Because. Because if you asked me two years ago, in 2017, literally, of August of 2017, that what I wanted, what success would have looked like for me, I could never have envisioned this, because I am feeling and hearing and experiencing all the things that I would have hoped for, but it's not in the packages that I would have anticipated it in. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:05:26 And we have to. To be very self aware, I think, in my opinion, like, we have to. And in your case, I've listened to you mention your husband over and over again, which is a fantastic thing. But we have to be, at some point, aware that the future is happening to us. Alyestal - 01:05:45 Yes. Outside of that person. Because as much as marriage brings two people together into one, you are still your own person. You still have to serve your own purpose, because when you have to face your God, it's you by yourself. You can't be like, oh, well, my husband told me not to do this, so I didn't do it. You have to be accountable for your decisions and your actions and the repercussions that it has, not just for yourself, but for your family and whatever your circumstance may look like. But you have to be your own individual. Before I go off on a different tangent, you have to be your own individual, your own person, and be accountable to that. But the only way you can do that, to your point, is through having self awareness. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:06:29 Yeah. Awesome. If it's not so much putting you on the spot, if there's just a block of text that you could perform from shine, would that be okay? Alyestal - 01:06:40 Yeah. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:06:40 Might not be everything. Alyestal - 01:06:41 Just give me a moment to get there. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:06:43 Yeah, for sure. Take. Alyestal - 01:06:44 Let me just start from the beginning. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:06:48 Wherever we stop, we'll see. Alyestal - 01:06:52 I want my words touch you in ways that my hands cannot. So please listen carefully. Life can sometimes make you feel inadequate, make you feel invisible, make you feel you don't exist. But these are the times when you must persist. And these are the times when we need you to shine. And that's where I will stop it. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:07:18 Awesome. Awesome. It's been a fantastic time with you today. Alyestal - 01:07:22 I've enjoyed it. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:07:24 I couldn't be more honored that you came on the show and you've spoken to us some deep truths about life and just about your journey and your creative process. We're very thankful. Alyestal - 01:07:35 Thank you for having me. I'm very appreciative to be part of this. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:07:40 All right. We wish you the best, massive success, and hopefully we're able to get you on this show sometime in the future. Alyestal - 01:07:46 Yes. Thank you. It's been my pleasure. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:07:48 All right. Thank you. Take care. Alyestal - 01:07:49 You too. Efe Mike-Ifeta - 01:07:50 Bye bye now.